How Adoption Saved My Life
I was a foster kid in San Diego, California. My journey began when I was just a baby. A neighbor found me alone in the middle of the street as an infant. I could have been hit by a car. I could have been injured. I could have been kidnaped. Instead, I was saved.
When San Diego County Child Protective Services brought me in, they discovered I had a yeast infection from my ankles to my armpits and was very malnourished. There was no chance I would go back to my biological mother for she was schizophrenic and refused to take prescribed medication.
I was put into the care of the state and placed in a foster home. This first foster home fed me and made sure I was okay but didn’t show me love. At times, people become foster parents for the wrong reasons. It is heartbreaking. Some reasons I discovered are; to make money, to “provide a roof” for orphans, and to get (undeserved) praise from family and friends for being so “selfless.” For all the amazing foster families out there, unfortunately, there are just as many terrible ones. I was in one of those at first.
Only a couple miles away waited my saviors although they didn’t know it yet. Beth was a first grade teacher and Art a high school math teacher. They are two amazing individuals who married in college and had tried to conceive ever since with no luck. They had joined the adoption wait list for infants years ago and were emotionally exhausted from waiting. (Side note, if you want to foster or adopt, increasing the preferred age to just three makes the wait almost non-existent.) Beth decided to finally write a letter to the agency stating that they could not take the stress and anticipation anymore so remove them from the waitlist. The letter sat on the kitchen counter, un-mailed and taunting her.
The phone rang. It was not the adoption agency, but a foster care agency saying they had a baby girl who had been through a lot in her short life. They asked if Beth and Art were still interested in fostering. This was the moment my life changed with one phrase, “when can we see her?”
If social media and video recording had been in the 80’s like it is today, I am sure my parents would have gone completely overboard with all the photos of our meeting. I am told that the moment my mom and dad saw me, they knew I was supposed to be theirs forever. My social worker even said, “I have never seen her smile the way she’s smiling at you.” That big toothless grin sealed the deal and I found my forever home.
My parents saved my life. They had to struggle for three years with court dates, visits with my biological mother, and interviews before they could finally adopt me but they did it. My mom still tells me there was no way they were backing down from adopting me. She and my dad would have done anything to protect me and make sure I was with them. Thank goodness they did! I grew up very happy, loved, and knowing that I wasn’t born into a family, I was chosen.
When I got married, the first thing I got to be is a foster mom to kids. I got to adopt two amazing children who too had a schizophrenic biological mother (sound familiar?) They needed a second chance at life just like I did. They teach me every day that life isn’t about the cards you were dealt, it’s about the cards you keep.
Feel free to reach out to me at kat@createcourageadventures.com, leave comments, and subscribe to this blog for more personal stories and information about foster care and adoption. If you have an adoption success story to share, I would love to feature you. You can make a difference.
